This Is Mixed Up
by Radish Earrings
Summary: The title explains it. Voldie is bored. So he watches Harry's lovelife. Hey, why not? [challengefic]


**Voldemort's Secret Lair**

Voldemort was sitting on his high throne, and absent-mindedly picking his teeth with his sharp, but yellowing nails. 'I'm sooo bored. Wormtail!' A small man with watery eyes scurried forwards and bowed.

'Yes, my Lord' The man named Wormtail cast a fearful glance up towards the noseless man in the throne.

'I happen to be bored. Help me think of something to amuse me.'

'...Uh...' Wormtail scratched his head. '...Um...'

'QUIET! I have thought of something that shall amuse me greatly' He chuckled, and then snarled,'well? Don't you want to know what brilliant idea I have?'

Wormtail nodded. He listened carefully to Voldemort as he gave instructions that Wormtail had to carry out. And he did.

**Hogwarts, Great Hall**

Harry Potter, also known as The Boy Who Lived, and the Chosen One, and (urk!) ahem. Sooo. Harry Potter, uh.

Harry Potter sat down for breakfast one sunny morning and sipped some orange juice. Malfoy glared at him from the Slytherin table, Harry gave him 'evils' back. Ron just grimaced and carried on wolfing down his weight in scrambled egg. Hermione had that 'knowing' look in her eye. Just then Hedwig swooped down into Harry's Cheerio's and he automatically pulled off the letter.

He glanced at his letter and choked, his cheerios snorted out of his nose. Ron slapped him on his back and he coughed and spluttered. Then Ron saw the letter, and gasped. It was bright pink and had traces of flowery perfume on it. Hermione giggled. 'Who's it from then?'

The two boys were still staring aghast at the letter. Then Harry came to his senses and opened it. He read aloud:

_"Dear Mister Harry Potter_

_I feel that I have been most unkind all these years, what with orphaning you, then trying to do you in and all. Lets by the by. From me is a pretty mirror as a token, begging for your forgiveness._

_The Dark Lord_

_a.k.a Your ex-nemesis, the Lord Voldemort"_

Hermione and Ron shared a glance, and then both simultaneously started to laugh. Not just laugh, or chuckle, full blown laughing, heads thrown back and all. Their laughing echoed off the walls in the now silent Great Hall. Everyone was casting fearful glances at them, and started to eat at top speed. The Hufflepuffs just ran out as fast as they could. Slowly their manic laughter deceased and they straightened up. Ron wiped a small tear from his eye.

"That's, (breathes) the funni-(breathes) funniest thing... (sighs)" Ron struggled to say as he tried to regain a steady breath. His shoulders were silently shaking still and Hermione had buried her face in Ron's shoulder. Harry, however, looked most unamused.

"YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY!" They both nodded weakly. "FOR ALL YOU KNOW THIS COULD BE POISIN! IT WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST FRICKIN' TIME HE'S TRIED TO KILL ME!"

**24 Privet Drive**

Aunt Petunia was cleaning the sink at this moment in time, and promptly dropped her scourer and clutched her heart. A great tremor passed through Privet Drive as Harry's voice reverberated against the lamp posts.

**Back to the Great Hall**

Ron and Hermione burst into fresh peals of laughter, clutching their stomachs trying to breathe. Harry's nostrils were flaring and his face turned rather like Uncle Vernon's, i.e. a blotchy beetroot colour.

Draco was watching, feeling rage. He clenched his fists. How could his friends act like this? He was obviously distressed. Without thinking Draco stormed over to Harry and put his arms round his shoulders and wiped Harry's eyes, which had started to well up with tears. There was an audible gasp around the room. Ron and Hermione stopped laughing. Harry pulled Draco into a hug, and they embraced for the world to see.

It was as if the world was in slow motion, Ron slooowly picked up a toad and slooowly raised it up to throoow, whilst Harry slooowly kissed Draco, and Draco slooowly kissed back. They only stopped when Harry got knocked back with a slimy toad. Everything went back to normal speed as Draco hurled a Rat at Ron and Harry stood in front of Draco to defend him. Hermione just smiled. Her instincts, which were never wrong, had already told her that Harry and Draco were going out. Or...more to the point, meeting up after classes in broom closets. If anyone had cared to look, then they would have seen young Ginerva Weasley glaring at Draco. She stomped out of the Great Hall, Hermione close on her heels.

Hermione caught up with her as Ginny threw herself on the Common Room sofa, sobbing. "There, there Ginny."

Ginny suddenly sat up. "I've gotta get him!" Hermione just slapped her hand to her head, and muttered under her breath, 'shit.'

**Meanwhile...**

Still holding the letter, Harry skipped out of the Great Hall with Draco. They stepped out into the Entrance Hall, and Draco halted, mid-skip. Looking where Draco was, Harry saw Ginny holding a giant banner, at least 8 feet high. It also had 13 written on it, covering most of the banner. Harry glanced at Draco to find his bottom lip trembling. "What?" whispered Harry. Draco just whimpered. "Well. I, err. I-have-triskaidekaphobia!"

Harry looked bewildered. "If you don't love me anymore I understand!" With that Draco ran to the Slytherin Common room, leaving Harry standing there. Ginny was running down the stairs into Harry's arms. He just stood there muttering "He...does this mean...doesn't he love _me_?" Harry held Ginny close to him. She kissed him, but it didn't feel right. He threw her to the side and ran after Draco. Ginny was close behind.

"I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!" she was screaming. Harry had to run with his hands clamped over his ears to avoid any permanent damage.

Lord Voldemort was watching this all through the small mirror. He turned to Worm tail.

"I think I may have ruined Potter's love life. Not to mention his ears. Oopsie daisies!" Cackling manically he had a random cardiac arrest and fell tot the floor, and died.

It was in the Daily Prophet the next day. Everyone was rejoicing. It turned out that Dumbledore had made up the Horcruxes as a joke to get Harry back for being more famous than him. Dumbledore had thought the snake was the funniest-hopefully Harry would get bitten. He did, except by Ginny's bat. Rather fitting for her don't cha think? Where'd think she got all those amazing bogies form anyway. Meh he he...

And... HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

**Note from Author: Hello to all. I was being random. Plus it was a challenge. Don't blame me. Blame Atra Luminum. Meh he he. So. Ja. If you have any questions...PM me.**

**oh, and**

**review!**

**The challenge was...**

**-Harry and Draco in a relationship**

**-A jealous Ginny**

**-The word triskaidekaphobia (fear of the number 13)**

**- Must either be Humor or Angst**

**-A love potion **er, i forgot. crud, sorry!

**-A bat**

**-A rat**

**-A toad**

**-Voldemort saying 'oopsie daisies!'**

**_REVEIW!_**


End file.
